How to squirrel a wedding

As you probably already know, Marty Rathbun and Monique Banks Carle “Mosey” got married on July 3, 2010 in Tarpon Springs, Florida.  But what you probably hadn’t heard is that Marty and his junior, Mike Rinder, couldn’t even conduct a marriage ceremony without squirreling!

If you inspect a copy of the marriage certificate on the face of the document there’s some blatant falsehoods including:

– The “minister” who performed the ceremony was not a minister.

– The “church” that the minister claimed he was from does not exist.

– The groom lied about his age on the marriage certificate.

About the only thing on the marriage certificate that seems to be accurate is that the “wedding” was held at the 1316 Riverview Drive, which is the house of Mike Rinder, Christie Collbran, Haydn and Lucy James and is located in Tarpon Springs.  But I am not sure if that is true since to have a wedding you have to have someone qualified to perform the ceremony.

I am not a lawyer but if you read a copy of 2009 Florida Statute 741.07 Persons authorized to solemnize matrimony, it appears that this wedding was just plain squirrel and therefore is illegal.

741.07 Persons authorized to solemnize matrimony.

(1) All regularly ordained ministers of the gospel or elders in communion with some church, or other ordained clergy, and all judicial officers, including retired judicial officers, clerks of the circuit courts, and notaries public of this state may solemnize the rights of matrimonial contract, under the regulations prescribed by law. Nothing in this section shall make invalid a marriage which was solemnized by any member of the clergy, or as otherwise provided by law prior to July 1, 1978.

The marriage certificate was signed by “Michael J Rinder, Minister Independent Church of Scientology.”  This is a false attestation on a couple of counts:

1. Mike Rinder was defrocked of any ministerial standing with the Church of Scientology including cancellation of all certificates and status as part of his suppressive person declare.  In short he well knows he is not an ordained minister of the Church of Scientology.

2. I searched on for the different variations of “Independent Church of Scientology,” the name of the Church that Rinder claimed he was from. I also searched for director / officer names of: Michael “Mike” Rinder, Christie Collbran, Haydn James and Mark “Marty” Rathbun, but nothing came up at all for any of these.  There are no corporate filings and therefore no such church entity exists.  Another falsehood.

Even if there was such an entity as the “Independent Church of Scientology,” which there is not, in order to be in compliance with the above Florida Statute, Rinder would have to have been ordained, which he couldn’t have been since no such church entity exists in the first place.

Marty Rathbun also falsely listed his date of birth on the marriage certificate as 01/09/59 instead of 01/09/57.  Marty’s wife Monique Banks was born on 02/23/72, so Marty is 53 and Monique is 38. That’s 15 years difference.  I can only guess that Marty figured 51 sounds better than 53?  But that’s really nothing compared to Mike Rinder and Christie Collbran.  Rinder was born on 04/10/55 and Christie Collbran was born on 01/29/77.  That makes Mike 55 and Christie only 33 – a whopping 22 year difference!  Just think, when Christie reaches 45, Rinder is going to be 67.  When she is 55 he is going to be 77.  Surely she has enough going for her to get some good looking guy her age. I am not sure what she could be thinking.  Christie’s son must wonder why grandpa has been staying at their house.

But my point is, I would like to know if anyone has any ideas on how to make a complaint about this squirrel marriage and to see if anyone knows what this could mean in terms of penalties or other repercussions.